There once was a girl who got her first job out of high school. She had applied for a job as a sales clerk at the local department store, and she was so proud of herself when she was hired. She had put in the work to have a good resume, and did very well on the interview. She was nervous about her new job, but she knew she could do a good job. But… when she came home, her parents were angry. “Why do you need a job? You’re going to get a husband, and he’s going to take care of you. All you should be concerned about is finding that man.” She was crushed. She called the store and declined the job. Because of this incident, and many others like it, she decided she must not be worthy of receiving money. This feeling has plagued her her entire adult life.
We all have money stories in our lives and in our past. Sometimes we have stories that encourage excessive spending habits. Sometimes they encourage miserly behavior. And sometimes, like the girl in our story, they tell us that we shouldn’t receive money into our lives.
Think back on your childhood and early adulthood. Do you have any stories that have made you feel like you aren’t worthy of receiving money into your life? What are the elements of the story that made you feel this way. Did someone put down your labors or work you did? Did you develop a feeling that money is evil or tainted? Or did you somehow get the feeling that YOU don’t deserve money?
Money is such a taboo subject, and we all lay so much emotion on top of the concept of money, and receiving money can create such overwhelming emotions in us all. But we can overcome these feelings, and find a new, positive, relationship with money. First, it is important to remember, money in and of itself, is not positive OR negative. What we do with money can be of course. But the dollar in your hand is neutral. Also, money is not the goal. Money is a tool for making your life, and the lives of others better and more fulfilling.
Things to do
What can you do to counteract these old stories and patterns, and build a healthier relationship with receiving money? Here are some ideas. You don’t have to do all of them, and please feel free to modify these in a way that suits you and your life.
- Become comfortable with talking about money. Talking about taboo subjects lessen their hold on us, and shine a light on what we’re really afraid of. Find someone safe, perhaps that has similar struggles with money, and become “Money Confidantes”. Make a regular coffee date, and take turns sharing your fears and concerns, then share your successes.
- Create a receiving ritual - Every time money comes into your hands, your bank account, or your PayPal account, ring a bell, light a candle, or say a prayer of thanks, or do all three. Or create another ritual that has meaning for you. Another fun way can be to say out loud: “Thank you
for honoring me with this money. I honor you and the universe in return. I also honor myself, and I am grateful for the opportunity to receive this money”.
- Spend about five minutes a day visualizing what it will feel like to be wealthy and prosperous. Will you feel content for not having to worry daily about money? Do you feel joy for having the money you need to give back to people and causes you believe in? Do you feel grateful that you are protected in retirement, and will not need to depend on others as you age? When you imagine feeling wealthy, it helps you rewire your brain, and you will be more receptive to the money coming into your life right now.
And you can always work with affirmations. Here are some things to try saying to yourself every day:
- “Money is not positive or negative. Money is a neutral. What I do with it is what brings value to it.”
- “Having money, or not having money does not change my character. I am me, I am a beautiful sacred person, no matter how much money I have.”
- “Money is not the goal. Money is a tool for making my life, and the lives of others, better and more fulfilling.”
- “I am worthy of an abundant life. I do good works that are worth the reward of a fair payment”
- “I am so happy and grateful now that money comes to me in increasing quantities through multiple sources on a continuous basis.”
When you choose your affirmations, choose phrases that you can deeply believe. If you are not ready for an affirmation, or it is too “out there”, your subconscious will reject it. So if you need to modify any of these so they are believable to you, do that, and once you are comfortable with them, try expanding them.